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1月13日 "iv seen everything".."have you seen a man eat his own head??"break dance//not hearts. well here I am once again..long time no see right? well technically..long time no talk..or to be more precise long time no blog. so howv i been? well mixture of things really! at the  with dread and my brain workin up a storm... because i started to have a morning freak out (i do this a lot) about starting yr 11..YEAR 11!?!?!? dont the words just scare u senceless? ok maybe its just me..but isnt it a bit soon for..YR 11?? i mean..like iv sed in previous blogs..we all seem too small for this..i mean theres wat..like 3 boys in our yr who are capable of growing a beard? am i right or am i right? to me, were still lil kids at who fall over and scrape our knees and giggle at the words "sex" and "penis".but now we are seniors..we hav the privelege now of wearing different coloured skirts and ugly chekered looks-like-a-paper-bag tops..but shuldnt i feel a bit more..excited..rather than..scared. i mean its like starting skool all over again..cos this is the "serious" yrs..no more "bluge" lessons..were up to the big guns..! but ok..enough of that..my holidays..(are decreasing rapidly) but iv had fun :) i really dont want them to end..i dont think i can handle waking up early and doin the same bloody thing every day! ok i take bak wat i sed before..i kinda am excited..new subjects all of which i chose myself..(so ok im the only one to blame if i hav a miserable yr!) no more geography..shudder..no more science..shudder..still maths (painful as it is) always be urself..because the people who matter don’t mind..and the people who mind don’t matter well i must be off soon..i goin to take my darling dog maddie for a much desevered walk..but im hoping everyones having a really good holidays and making the most of them..also thanks for all the comments..its great to get them off friends or randoms..either way its a nice thought and i appreciate it .. haha ok im gettin mushy.. i need to stop!
cant wait to hang out with everyone..and start YEAR 11 arhhhhhhhhh scary scary stuff!
much love,
hugs
and kisses 12月24日 my name is, dead to you N// "Don’t be
one more sleep till christmas! Funny how the novelty of xmas wears off though as you grow old and find out santa claus is nothing but ur drunk uncle dressed in a red and white suit. and those cookies you leave out?? ur mum
much love, jess
12月19日 plz leave me comment..im grounded and need some kind of human contact.. [x] listening to: james blunt-tears and rain [x] mood: pissed off [x] feeling: annoyed! [x] eating: chocolate (comfort food) ♥lets get these teens hearts beating faster...♥
♥ well today is day one of the dreaded grownding.. i dont think iv been grounded since i was in about year 3..but its not something to brag about.. id just like to start off by pointing out i didnt do anything wrong..well not REALLY..hardly anything worth being grounded over...especailly in the holidays! the CHRISTAMS holidays :( i think yesterday was just a bad day for me.. firstly, i woke up with a headache...2nd, i tried to do a practice L's test on the net but it decided to not work..3rdly my computer randomly just shut down on me for no apparent well my holidays up untill this point have been extremely fun..iv been jety jumping, which was for the first time..kinda scary at first..not the actual jump but i always think of whats IN the water in jumping into..like iv also had a few sleepovers, involving some extreme adventures that i wont go into today..cos then we'd be here forever and im suprised if people are still reading because this writting is so small! see it gives the allusion that i havnt writtin as much..but i dont think im fooling anyone.. i went out to dinner the other night to topolinos with emily, robbie, sarah, lauren, whitney and matt..and it was extremely fun :) it was a really nice night and it reminded me of some of the friedships iv been missin out on over the years..sarah and lauren..who i used to be best friends with in primary school but somehow drifted away from in high school..i love everyone there so much and thank yous all for inviting me! after dinner we then walked over to see king kong! great movie, yet again i cried but thats nothing new cos i seem to cry in every movie these days.. well i must be off, as there is a list of jobs to do waiting for me on the bench..iv avoided them since i woke up but i dont think i can hold off for much longer..so herers me "signing off" (sorry sorry just reminded me of that lame line i had to say wen i was LIZZIE in revenge is sweet) to do my jobs..mind u im not gettin paid for it so from this point forth i think u culd classify me as some kind of slave..
feel my pain
much love, jess p.s im not even supposed to be on the net mums at work..see im grounded from the net for a few days as well...luckily they didnt take my phone..and luckily there still letting me go to gawjus emiy's tonite! please leave me comments cos im practically cut off from the world now due to my grounded..i need to feel loved!
12月10日 the formal..a night to be rememberedw and we are the champions, my friends..and we'll keep on fighting till the end... w
i just wanna start of by saying HOW FUN was the formal! i had such a great time! everyone looked fabulous in their formal gear, all the guys so handsome in their suits and the girls looked so stunning and grown up in their dresses! i wanna make an album full of everyone, and i want every single person in it! so many photos were taken is wear i culdnt turn around without someone snapping away..my mouth was gettin so sore though and my cheeks got the best work out of their life! i remember sometimes id be standing there waiting for photos and i culd start to feel my lips twitch cos the culd hardly hold on for much longer!
i just can't get over how beautiful everyone looked it was such an amzing night! jenny, sarah, emily i loved dancing to michael jackson with you guys..so funny "thriller"--pretty much the best song ever created lol..and casey, mad dances up the top of the stairs i love u girl! haha i almost fell down the stairs tho, my heel got caught in one of the top steps! amy and chris, the award for old married couple hehe how cute, yous looked fabulous together as per always! jess mkillop oh gosh u took my breath away u looked divine, and sheri wat a stunner u are u looked so BREATHTAKINGLY beautiful! luke and mitch your vests were so kool yous looked so very handsome in them! Julia, wow wat can i say about u, u looked so beautiful! u looked like marilyn manson..haha i mean marilyn munroe (lol casey u fool) u truly looked amazing and so grown up! robbie you looked so amazing in ur purple suit, i loved ur whole look and i especially love this photo of u and me, so much so that i put it on my blog! god luv u!! carly, marlee and amanda yous also looked so stunning, it was so cool to see yous all dressed up yous truly looked amazing! holly, my dear holly how can i forget you, u looked equisite in ur beautiful green number! quinny u looked like a doll, ur dress suited u so well and i love our pics together i love YOU!! ash frank, oh i told u youd look like royalty, u and ejaz looked perfect together took my breath away hehe! dont leave me! and u danny klas, dont leave either! eveyrone was so close on the night i never wanted it to end it was like a fairytale! ok im gonna stop blabbing on now, but i just wana tell yous all how much i love you guys, my night wuldnt of been the same without yous and i wanted to freeze time to stay there, happy, with each and every one of you!
much love,
jess  12月3日 ..
Me again..ok duh sorry bit of an obvious statement isnt it hmm..well yet again im bored! so the answer to all solutions..come on hav a whinge on myspace!!..depressing isnt it im such a net head these days..schools over and theirs nothing to do..arhh! well the other night i went n saw the new harry potter movie! was so awesome..i must admit..in all honesty..i did cry in the end..haha i no what ur thinkin..and yes..there probably is something wrong with me..i mean..HARRY POTTER!? but its sad ok..have a heart! i new wat was comin cos i read the book so i culdnt help yelling out "NO HARRY DONT DO IT DOOOONT!!" but when he did, a poor me was seen shamefully sniffing back tears a hand close to my mouth which was whimpering and sobbing a lil..a lil bit TOO much for my liking really..BUT dw i wasnt all pathetic emotion..another part of me wanted to kick this little kid a few seats down in the next row from me..everytime he moved (which was a hell of a damn lot--bloody figety kids) his fecking seat squeeked..and well..i was in no mood for seat squeeking every 0.5 seconds whilst the good bits were drowned out by it (well not really but im just tyring to explain how ANNOYING IT WAS)..speaking of seats, they were so uncomfortable..after the movie i got up..my bum so numb i felt like i didnt have one anymore! ok enough of the whinging..the MOVIE was awesome and thats all that counts right? well i advice u to all go see it :) and thanku sheri for inviting me! anyways im outta here for another day..everyone take care of urself and have an awesome holidays x x x x jess
# 11月30日 the.notes.are.old..“They say talk is cheap; N
well another blog again..yes it would seem i hav no life at this present time wouldnt it..well i guess at the moment i just feel like an idiot..i feel ALONE because i dont have someone to love..yes i no, i hear you say "you dont need a boy to be happy" rah rah rah..well i like to tell myself that too but it doesent exactly make u feel all dizzy inside..the way u get wen u hav someone to think about..somebody who thinks about u..it
11月28日 bored.bored.bored.bored.bored...save me?so kiss slowly
laugh insanely
love truly
and forgive quickly..
"trust no-one..deny everything" 11月20日 my w.e....::all hail the unseen one who dances in the shadows ::..
 Here I am again..not quiet sure why as i have nothing to write about..if my weekend was a movie i'd be standing in the middle of the stage (preferably in some desolate location beyond the reaches of humanity..a desert maybe)..it would be so quiet youd be able to hear a pin drop..untill a tumble weed (you cant forget the faithful tumble weed) would blow past accompanied with the "CAW CAW" of a crow flying above (que the violins with sad dramatic music to set the mood)..i would suddenly thrust my arms up in the air in a theatrical fashion (que the over-head view) and scream "WHY GOD WHHHHY!?!?!" spinning around my face a replica of pure agony untill the screen suddenly goes black and the movie of my sad pathetic w.e ends..so yes thats the story of my weekend monotonous and feeble..hardly worth writing about..I WISH i could say i did some wild fantastic crazy thing but im sorry to dissapoint you..i could make something up but my imagination has run dry and i dont have the energy nor the mind to think of something momentous so bare with me here..
So the end of year 10 is coming to a close how interesting..i remember being in year 7 looking at the BIG year 10's thinking there were oh so big..now thats us and i feel like were all frauds. compared to those other yr 10's and 11's i feel like our generation missed out on the height and instead a breed of midgets was formed. Gone are the days of not doing work and swapping boyfriends every week. i swear yr 7 was just invented so we could all enjoy a healthy social life. I mean the only thing i remember learning in year 7 is that "O TAN JOBEY WA" (i have no idea how to spell the damn thing even) means "whens your birthday" in japanese..and im PRETTY sure i havnt used this insightful peice of knowledge since.. this is where your sanity gives in and *love* begins... songs..and people im reminded of when i hear them
x-amy: missy higgins-don't ever x-robbie: howie day-collide x-sarah: The veronica's-speechles x-sheri: lifehouse-you and me bri-brown eyed girl x-quinny: song of anchorman-afternoon delight
..."I'm [going] to miss [those] lips [and] everything attached [to] them"...
11月6日 grow up!! ahhh i have finally had the honour to be blessed with an evil blog comment..and evil it was..but hey, if they get kicks out of being assholes then thats their choice, me on the other hand i have much better things to be doing with my time than to be browing randoms blogs and paying them out! oh indeed it is pathetic..but like i sed, be my guest if being a prick keeps you warm and night and gives u that warm fuzzy feeling of content, then good luck with that..ohh by the way i deleted your philosophical and insightful (sence my sarcasm) comment, as i felt that considering you thought it was such a necesary thing to say then hey, why not recognise ur "talents" and give u ur very own blog!! wow do u feel special NOW?? and hey lets share ur comment with everyone??"i don't no u and u dont' no me but u sure are a f**********************in retard u also look like a fuckwit but ur such a retard ppl like totally think its cool to b depressed or write fucking quotes like that but its not its fucking not goodbye bitch 06 November 4:14 PM "
yet i do see 2 flaws in ur comment..
1) i think the world u were refering to in ** was "fucking" and im not quiet sure it has THAT many letters in it :) just some tips for next time u write a great comment in someone elses blog..or hey, maybe ill get the pleasure of receiving some more words of wisdom from urself?
2) another thing is..id like to point out in case u hadnt realised, that my whole previous blog was dedicated to how HAPPY i am with life at the moment due to my WONDERFUL friends..no way am i depressed and no way does being depressed entise or affect me.. YOU my friend are the sad and pathetic one who needs to get off ur ass instead of terrorzing ppl's blogs, breathe some fresh air and get a life..:) have a great life (oh im sure it will be fulfilling with the attitude youv got).. i am
 me..take it or leave it ok??p.s next time u go into my blog..there is a little X button in the top right hand of ur screen-u will be happy to no that when pressed it makes my blog disapear! wow it saves u the trouble of thinking of "profound" things to say to me and it also leaves the world a happier place :) bleed for me..cry for me...live for me..die for me
napolian dynamite: "Napoleon, don't be jealous tha t I've been chatting online with babes all day... Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."11月5日 be urself..live the life u imagined..[you.are.the.beauty.and.the colour.in.this.black.and. white world..]
god im in the best mood..im not sure why, usually i would be majourly stressing as the school certificate is on monday and tuesday..it is now saturday nite! Well ok..maybe i have stressed for the whole of this week but after today, i had the best time and i realised hey..im in year 10, im staying for the HSC this is no big deal..i passed my trials without studying so hey ill be alrite! It's really weird..i guess im in just one of those corny moods where those cliche lines of "live life to the max" and that actaully seem to make sence rather than to be something to snigger at..or maybe its that after hearing all the cliche lines in our drama play just about every lunch rehersal, cliche things seem to be a re-acurring theme!
I duno..i guess iv realised that thing that everyone always seems to say (but never always mean--it just sounds good) about just be urself..really makes sence to me about now.. cos if u act a certain way just to please someone they no it..and it comes across as fake..and well..ur not gonna win any friends by being fake.. and iv also reliased that if u surround urself with ppl who make u happy, u urslef will feel a lot happier aswell.. i owe this a thanku to a few ppl..
casey for starters-but i dont even need to bother metnioning u we all no how much i love u, u truly are my best friend i can say random things to u without u tihnking im weird..i can honestly say i can be 100% my true self around u and i cant really do this with anyone else!! sure we have little tiffs (like me in science ahaha) but we get over them and look bak on them and laugh!
sarah wow ur such a gorgous person, ur genuine and sincere and truly a wonderful person!im so glad were friends again, i have some great times with u in drama, and our lil random chats about dates..and not so great dates ahah (sorry i just have this visual image of u immitating him shaking--u no wat im talkin about aha) you truly a beautiful person inside and out and ur gonna look like a stunner at the formal!! youll hafta bring a baseball bat to ward of all the boys lol
robbie- ahhh ur such a funny guy...u deserve a mention in my blog, cos without u somedays id still be stuk in a terrible mood..u seem to lift me outta them..specially with our broadway..man im gonna miss drama! You never fail to crack me up i swear u wuld be one of the funiest ppl i no!! your a great person u stay true to urself and wat u believ in and i admire that!
holly- i dont talk to u all that much, but god just ur precene sometimes is enough! ur such a sweetie, god luv ya ur are truly also a genuine person and also make me laugh! you perfect for "honey" hehe..and im sure youll knock there sox off with ur performance!
10月31日 ..fuk it all...DONT apologise i hope you CHOKE and DIE...
 do people find it amusing to lie to others?? to they ENJOY watching the conflict unfold before there eyes over a nice lil peice of CRAP they made up?? does it ENTERTAIN them?? do they think its FUNNY..cos ill tell you what..ITS NOT! its fucking pathetic... Why cant people just mind their own god damn buisness..why do people have to get involved when its got nothing to do with them and just make the situation worse!!!.. for gods sake some things are between certain people and NOT others..respect that fuking privacy and respect the fact that its personal..
Im just so mad right now i feel like im going to explode..iv had the worst day i really do not feel like anything could possible get any worse..well im sure it culd then id no god really had it in for me..KARMA is a load of shit, u still be the best person you can be but in the end u still get the negative shit in ur life anyway..probably just as much as the people who LIE and cheat and steal and act like fools.. life isnt fair..it never will be and it never has been.. 10月6日 poem..If you look into her eyes you'll see her tears the pain shes been feeling for so many years You'll no how she feels shes dying inside youll see all her secrets shes been trying to hide
look at her heart its broken in two she can never go back to the world she once knew its left in peices it lies on the floor she knows it wont be the same anymore..
she missed so many moments she grew up too fast she cant forget nor she cant change the past she looks at her memories none of them good she cant wipe them away she wishes she could
look at her tears as they fall down her face no she feels nothing just stares into space her pain is taking over theres nothing she can do you can see her but she cant see you..
9月27日 dear hayley..."IM SOSORRY HAYLEY"
well the holidays have begun..maybe not how i thought they'd start off but hey, things dont always work out how there planned.. i just wanna start of by saying.. I'm so sorry things hav turned out the way they have hayley, i just want you to no, i love you with all my heart, and i hate whats been going on lately.. i no i'v said some things, we've both said some things in the heat of the moment that probably have come out the wrong way, but please no that im sorry from the bottom of my heart and i never feel the same way when things arn't right with you..its like a sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach, please understand it from my view, and ill see it from yous and hopefully we can understand why things have been the way they have. Iv known you for so long, and i no im not the best friend at times, but never forget how much u mean to me..and i dont wanna just say its all good, if its not, i really wanna sort this out so it never comes up again..i wanna start fresh and enjoy more good times with u and get rid of the bad..so they never happen again..ur my litle angel and u make me laugh, i wanna keep it that way..im so sorry xx 9月5日 ::::: blah blah blah :::::well im sitting here feeling like a goth hence the fact i dyed my hair..BROWN..this morning..yea yea i was sure mislead because it didnt turn out brown at all..well not the brown it has on the front of the box anyway..more like black..not that it ever does..damn those stupid models on the packets of hair dye..they make u think u can dye ur hair fluro pink and it will look good..well it looks good on THEM thats the difference..anyway..another matter iv been contemplating for a few moments is-as i just heard jessica simpsons new song..(shudder)..how much of a slut she is..if thats not bad enuf has anoyone seen the film clip? is it just me..or is it suddenly quiet random that she starts washing a car in a mini-mini pink bikini that shows so much of her barely there body..or do ppl just randomly start doing that in real life? i mean CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG HERE..but doesnt it seem quiet absurd! If people dont feel bad enough about their bodies..jessica simpson comes and praces around in her liposuctioned toned, big boobed pefect blood body that she probably spends 20 hours at the gym for everyday..i mean feck it..theres no chance for the rest of us is there..even if we try to look like them it never seems to happen anyway..i culd stop eating for a month and never be that thin (dont get my wrong iv never tried not eating nor will i ever im just tryin to reinforce my point here) but i suppose it doesent stop ppl from tryint to be like them anyway..! 8月28日 my bdayanother year older..funny how birthdays slowly loose their novelty as the years go on..i remember bein little and could hardly contain my excitment the night before and after finally falling asleep id wake up about 6 and run into mum and dads room and within about 0.5 seconds tear open about 1000 presents with as much remorse as a lion ripping open its prey, but no not today..slowly - literally - dragged myself outa bed..got up to play soccer at boambee feilds..and you no wat?? it rained..topped of the beautiful day..nah it wasnt too bad, was a good game pretty fun really..had some good times.. zoe u crazy woman tryin to kill me!!! ahaha ur a funny girl!! well got home, and i got a digital camera which was kool, i love takin photos so this gives me something to do now..instead of tryin to steal mums all the time (thaku mum)..nn got some chokkies which is always good, helped my mood a lil too..well im out..im on the net on my bday?? i told u my day was sad.. BOO BIRTHDAYS! 8月19日 beautiful disaster? well heres another blog, im extremely bored and well...theres lots of time for thinking so i thought id write it down..yes i could just write it down and keep it to myself but well..theres not fun in that. Im sitting here with my legs aching from soccer listenin to a song byron sent me called "collide"--mad song thanx for that byron! Anyways my week has been good, good yet bad. its funny how things can seem so perfect but there so far from it. Life is like a happy chararade sometimes..just plaster on a fake smile and everyone will be happy but i guess after a while a line is crossed and you dont wanna just act it anymore..u actually wanna be it..happy that is. I guess this week i'v learnt that youv gotta go on a moment, gotta go by a feeling and take it and not let it go by. Just because everyone else has their own plan for you doesent mean you have to follow it. I guess in a way im sick of doing wat people expect of me..what they want me to do..im sick of pretending i agree and i wanna say "fuck it" and do what i feel is right..the right thing to make me happy. I guess theres no point pretending to be happy for everyone elses sake when your actually like a wilting rose on the inside, youv actaully gotta do it for urself, and if that means doing soemthing crazy then so be it..the way i see it, if they truly want you to be happy then they'll get over it and be glad for you in the end. I no this all may sound corny..but i guess you gotta go thru some things in life before you truly understand them!
Anyway..on another note, we made it to the grand final in soccer!! im so proud go boambee!! Not sure who were playing yet--depends who wins outta coffs and corindi..im hpz excited tho cos the grand is gonna be at night time at the stadium yeww i always wanted to play at night time!! well..iv got nothing more to say for now..till next time..adios and take care xx 7月31日 >>>...aND [YoU] aRe [NoT] sOmEtHiNg i [DeSeRvE]...<<<<
well..its 9:10am on a sunday morning..dont ask why im awake i should really be catchin up on much needed sleep but anyways im extremely bored so i decided..since its the thing to do these day..i shall write a lovely comment about all my friends..now dont come throwing rocks at me if i foget you...im sure it was purely an accident (ahem)..
Casey: You truly are my bestest best best best best ..(etc) friend in the whole world..i havnt met EVERYONE in the whole world but im just certain i culdnt meet anyone quiet like you..they just wuldnt "cut the cheese, "bake the cake"..they probably just wuldnt "tickle my fancy", "float my boat"...haha and all our stupid sayings. You and me, we are two peas in a pod, we hav gone thru so much together the good and the bad, we shared our secrets and fears and i no iv grown a stronger person because of you. remember..i used to be the shy girl who wuldnt come and jump on the bed with u??haha so much has changed! thanku for being my ray of sunshine, that extra bit of support when i need it most.. i no at times i can be moody so sorry u hav to put up with that..but im glad u can understand me. I love u more than anything in the world and i just wuld not be the same without u..(and that is not an exageration!) hope were besties till the end.. Hayley: aw where do i begin..your a gawjus girl inside and out..you can always be urself no matter what and i look up to u so much in that sence. Your my lil dancer..ur gonna go so far..ur so graceful and dedicated, maybe i shuld get ur autograph in advance before u become rich and famous? i culd sell it for millions on ebay haha.. iv known u since primary skool and weve got so many memories together (like the time i cried at ur bday party cos everyone used all my new "SPICE GIRLS" deodorant..haha watta laugh..u helped dry my tears anyway) You are such an amazing person, who i can watch scary movies with (COS EVERYONE ELSE GETS SCARED...PISS WEAK!!!) and i no when i hang around with u im destined to hav a load of laughs!! never change babe.. Emma: aka PURE QUINNY hahah..iv known u for so long babe!! ever since yr 2 when we were freakishly similar..same height same weight even the same head span haha!! i treasure all our primary skool days, i had such a laugh with you..we were so evil..so so evil lol but we had fun along the way! We drifted apart in about yr 8 wen i changed areas but im sooo glad were the friends we used to be again! id trust u with all my heart, all my soul and i no i can run to u wen i hav a problem..u hav the best advice! dont let anyone get u down, keep ur head high cos you deserve to be happy, good luck with u and brendan hehe x Teneile: aw teneile your such a gawjus person..u may never read this but i have to add u on here anyway. You are so gorgeous teneile, u truly are stunning and ur personality adds to your beauty! I culd tell u anything you give me great advice and i no you wont go blabbing it around to everyone, or think of me any different! Whenever your down, seriously u no ill hav a shoulder for u to cry on and id help u anyway i culd! Sheri: na na na na na na na na LANK GIRL (sung to the tune of BATMAN theme song) nah ur my lil noodle girl..i love u so much sheri ur such a great person, heart of gold u have..even if u did hit that goalie in the back of the head hahaha (sorry had to add that man it was soo freakin funny!) but anyways, ur my little athletic girl, ur so good at everythin damn u! teach my how to ten pin bowl..i came last sheri..u stormed ahead of me lol your such a gorgeous girl dont let anyone get u down or ill...kill em!! courtney: hey babe..dunno if u'll ever read this cos ur computer is one hell of a heapa..but anyways..ill keep it short and simple..i love you, ur my lil gem, i love our D&M's (like that great one a tea gardens til like 2am!!) and i no youll always be there for me thru thick and thin..ur a champion.. 7月30日 love..such a strange thingdear heart, i met a boy today...prepare to shatter.xx
have you ever felt so lost and alone that you feel like your just stumbling around in a world where nothings quiet as it seems? Sometimes you need to find the ground and take a grip on reality before it really blows you away. Sometimes you feel like your heart is just a fragile toy..it could break so easily but then u put the fate of its existance in the hands of someone that could so easily break it into billions of peices without a hint of remorse of the pain they can cause. Why is it that we trust someone with something so precious when we no fully well how easily they can abuse that trust? Sometimes i think we are all hypocrits, a relationship falls apart and the hurt begins to erupt inside you nagging at you, never leaving you alone. u feel empty and abondoned and are left wondering how something so amazing turned into something so bitter and regretful. After the pain heals we think were a better person, a stronger person who will say no and not let love so easily take over our hearts. we put up barriers. we make walls so when the next person comes along we wont have to go though it all again. but then someone else DOES comes along and were just as easily swept off out feet just to have that tender feeling of being loved and cared about. i mean who doesent want to feel special?? who doesent want to feel like their the only one in the world for that person? how can love can be such an evil thing, that causes pain and depression and then be a thing of beauty and desire, something to cherish and dream about? i No i always say i dont want to get into a relationship..i dont "need the complications of another boy" but then someone comes along and makes me feel special and its like iv got no other choice but to be swept away on the ride---in the end it really is hard to say no..sometimes its most endurable to put up with the result of hurt and resent just to have that moment of blissfull existance even if it is sometimes short lived..xx 7月24日 remember.."Always remember that you're unique . . . just like everyone else."
I rekon that quote is so true...maybe im wrong but i always thought that by everyone trying to be different from everyone else all those "different" people end up being the same as each other anyways...it sorta defeats the purpose of being different..i just wish everyone culd be themselves and not have to worry about everyone sterotyping them..it really shits me.. i hate stereotypes... especially wen ur given one wen ppl dont even take the time to know u and ur not even anything like the one youv been given.. i not this sounds really corny and all but god damit dont judge people before u sit down and get to know them...and by that i dont mean hearing a rumour and deciding thats wat there like cos rumours are just as friggin bad as stereotypes! if u dont actually know the person then keep ur friggin mouths shut for gods sake seriously...if i was gonna give anybody some advice itd be:
1. never beleive rumours (there either completely untrue, or an exagerated version of the truth)
2. dont judge people over sterotypes
3. get to know someone before u make up ur mind about what there like.
anyways iv got that off my chest..so goodnite all...cyas at skool tmoz..oh the joy lol
xx 5月20日 PAPA ROACH-SCARSI tear my heart open, I sow myself shut Drunk and I'm feeling down I tried to help you once I'm drunk and I'm feeling down 5月19日 ...Tis me again...im extremely bored but i have the best news...tuesday the 17th of may is official the best day of my life cos i ...... GOT MY BRACES OFF!! Im so happy!! i didnt even no i was gettin them off...he just randomly told me, just slipped it in the convo like it was no big deal and i was just like ARE YOU SEROIUS!?! haha anyways ill stop going on about that but im so happy! anyone who has braces out there and is hating them...its very worth it! anyways how was everyones days? pretty stupid thing to ask cos im not exactly talkin to anyone in particular am i, just whoever is reading this i suppose! my day was ok...had history first which as u can assume was pretty gay..then PDH...played soccer in the hall which was ok...cept for the part wen i slipped over nothin in particular and landed on my but just before chokin out a little scream so naturally every one turned around just as i landed on my butt!....wasnt one of my most glamorous moments..but then again im pretty clumsy..trust me to do something like that hey....everyone laughing in the hall just echoed and made it sound about 10 times louder my face was so red! the floor was slippery ok???? ahaha...anyways yesterday i hada do my science speach..man, "embarrassing" pretty much sums up that haha...i mean the topic i did was "WHICH GLUE IS THE STRONGEST"...not because i found that topic interesting..simply cos wallbo sed it wuld be easy to do haha...i hope i never hav to do one of those things again!....shame shame shame...anyways i gotta go put my 'comfy' retainer in..sposed to wear it 15 hours a day?? l8a ppl... |
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comes down stairs in the middle of the night and eats them herself.. I remember one xmas wen I was little I saw this red light in the sky and my grandma told me it was santa claus comin to give me presents and that if I wasn’t in bed and asleep I wuldnt get any.. I remember racing to bed but filled with so much excitement couldn’t sleep and ended up crying until 3am in the morning because I thought santa wuldnt come..and my whole family watched me cry rather than tell me that they were lying and that stupid red light in the sky was nothing but one of those planes with coloured lights. I mean…cmon..!!.. and another thing.. how could my mum sit and watch me sit on 
santas knee and ask for a fecking BROOMSTIC that could fly..”umm it’d have to have a stop and go button and a lil handle you could steer urself round..oh and a seat for barbie to sit on and, and..itd have to be pink n blah blah blah” while this stupid man nods and says “well if ur a special lil girl and are extra special for mummy and daddy you MAY just get ur broomstick”…a grown man lying to a kid..i mean no matter how good I was theres no way in hell id ever get a magical flying pink broomstick with a magical little seat for my best friend “hollywood barbie”---(who may I add mysterisouly disappeared after I left her on the bumber of the car so she culd join mum on a trip to town..oddly enough she didn’t survive the ride) well anyways, enough of this depressing xmas talk, I really do hope everyone has a great Christmas, and I hope ur drunk uncle dressed in a santa suit gives u lots of pressies..
reason wen i was almost finished writting a blog..then the war to end all wars happened and now im grounded.. till xmas may i add.. hopedully they'll get over it by then or i think ill cry! not that crying will get me anywhere but hey, youv gotta do something in these times of need. 
♥
well last week was work experience..really good i may say..i did occupational therapy and 
x-casey: lizzie maguire-what dreams are made of
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